These years start to sneak up on you.
Every year, you’re telling yourself the same thing – dang, the year went by fast.
And every year, you’re wishing you would have pushed yourself a little harder, done something a little differently, made a few different choices — because after all, it would mean you would finally be where you want to be.
But why go through that every year?
Why do we neglect to make the choices that would help us be our best selves right now? Why do we neglect being good to ourselves and just hoping that someone else will do it for us?
It’s no one else’s job to make us happy and if we aren’t intentional with the decisions we make, we’re running the risk of laying on our death beds looking back over a very unfulfilled life.
So, it’s time we make some choices before we march into 2018, claiming once again that it will be our year.
It’s time to reclaim time, coins, purpose, and all of that good ish. Every year can be your year if you truly want it to be, but it starts with focusing on ways to be better to yourself every day. Not just when it’s convenient.
A well-fed mind, spirit, and body make for one heck of a woman to be reckoned with. So, if you’re feeling like you’ve washed out when it comes to 2017, no worries. You’re gonna start being better to yourself right now with all fifty points of discussion in this article. You hear me? So, let’s get into it.
50 Ways to Be Better to Yourself in 2018
1. Stop ignoring your coins, hun.
It’s time to start doing this differently and if you start with your coins, you’ll definitely be more intentional in every other area of your life. The best way to be better to yourself is to gain control of your money. Here’s a tool that will help you do just that — LAAB’s Money Management Workbook.
2. Pay yourself first.
The first person that should see money from your paycheck is you. Not the bill collectors, not Target — you! Create a plan to save at least 10 percent of your income. If you don’t have an emergency fund, start there. If your emergency fund has a comma and is at a level you’re comfortable with, start saving for other things you want.
3. Forgive yourself.
Let go of all the mistakes you’ve made in 2017. Here’s the thing, there’s no such thing as past or future. Neither one of them exists! The only thing that exists is right now! So, make up your mind right now to no longer reflect on financial mistakes (or anything for that matter) that you made in a moment that doesn’t even exist anymore. It’s the best way to move forward so you can do more life-enriching things in 2018.
4. Stop making excuses.
Anything that’s not helping you get closer to living the life you ACTUALLY desire to live is usually an excuse. You know, the excuses like, “I can’t save any money because I don’t get paid enough.” There are all sorts of excuses I can reiterate here, but I won’t. The thing is, there’s always a way, you just haven’t found it. So, kill the excuses so you can be good to yourself. You might hate me for saying it now, but you’ll be grateful. One day.
5. Watch those thoughts of yours.
When you think a negative thought, by law, the universe will bring another negative thought to support it. Then another. Then another. Then another. Then you’ll look around and wonder why folks don’t wanna deal with you anymore. You’ve become Negative Nina and ain’t nobody got time for that, Nina (btw, if your name is Nina, it’s just an example 😀)! Thoughts become things. The thing you think about most will most certainly manifest into your reality. If you think and feel miserable about your debt every day, it’s going to be pretty hard to experience anything in your life other than debt. For more thoughts on this, check out this post.
6. Create some goals with an action plan.
A goal without a plan is simply a wish. The way this thing works is that you’re supposed to write down your goal, for example, paying off debt. Get specific with that goal and say, pay off $20,000 in debt in two-years. Then create the plan to go along with that plan and then you’re doing something. Don’t just be out here wishing. Start acting on it.
7. Read a book.
Seriously, I cringe when I hear folks brag about not reading. People out here being oppressed and don’t even know it because they are too proud to pick up a book. There are so many things you can read about and there’s so much to know that could enrich your life. This year I’ve read tons of business and personal development books. I also like to read personal finance books, African American Christian Fiction, Urban Lit (hey, it’s a guilty pleasure of mine – don’t judge me), and more. If you don’t do anything else on this list, create a budget and read a book. Please.
8. Invest in yourself.
You can invest in yourself by spending time alone, buying the power suit that will land you the job, or a business conference that will take your career to the next level. You can also invest in your learning through a community college course. The ideas are limitless.
9. Do something uncomfortable.
For me, one of the most uncomfortable (yet enriching) things I’ve done within the last 24 months was fly on an airplane. Yep, up until 32 years of age, your girl here had never flown on an airplane. But now, can’t nobody tell me nothing! I’ll hop on a plane in a minute and it’s one of those things where I just have to pat myself on the shoulder because I’ve gained so much from overcoming that fear. What’s one thing that makes you uncomfortable? I dare you to do it in 2018…
10. Stop focusing on your shortcomings and take a look at what you do best.
I’m pretty sure you spend the majority of your time thinking about what’s wrong with you. Like, oh I’m so short or I’m not good at math, etc. We spend too much time focused on our shortcomings and it keeps us from moving forward like the bosses we are to achieve some lifetime achievement award kinda ish. You gotta stop that in 2018! Seriously, for every flaw you think of, think of something that you do well. Write those things down and remember them as you slay in 2018.
11. Study, don’t hate.
I’m so sick of the hate culture. People are out here hating on folks who are living their best life simply because they won’t acknowledge that they aren’t living their best life. Yes, I said it! See, the thing is, when you’re jealous of someone, that’s your indication that it’s time to go out and make your own moves. Study what these people have done to achieve their level of success. Now, I’m not saying to go out here and emulate. Neither am I telling you to go out here and become the mini Jones’. What I am saying is to study the traits, techniques, and lessons of those you’re tempted to hate on. You may learn something about how you can create some success for yourself.
12. Develop some new habits.
If you’re in a rut and want to break out of it, think of the habits you would need to break through. Choose one or two of those habits and work on them daily until you’ve mastered them. For instance, if you’re always complaining about not having enough time to yourself everyday, perhaps you want to make a habit of waking up before everyone else for a little me time. It may be hard at first, but it’s definitely a way to get out of a rut and be better to yourself in 2018.
13. Say no to anything… if you feel like it.
I don’t know when or who programmed it into folks brains that we should say yes all willy nilly to things, but it’s gotta stop! For real. There’s no reason we should be out here in this world doing a bunch of stuff that we don’t feel aligned with. Now, I get that sometimes we have to compromise and watch a stupid movie with our husbands or kids every now and then. But, all the other stuff like hanging out with negative people just because their blood. Or cheating folks out of something at work because our job demands us to do it for the money (ahem, I’m not going to mention the name of the bank) — issa no. Don’t be afraid to say no. It’s quite liberating.
14. Stop hanging around energy draining people.
Now back to that hanging around negative people because they are blood situation in point #13. You don’t have to if you don’t wanna. I’m an empath, INFJ personality (and yes, I took multiple of these test – and paid ones to be sure, folks). This means that it’s so easy for others to zap energy out of me. Meaning, I can be in the best mood ever and just being in the presence of a negative person can leave me feeling drained. And if I’m not careful, I’ll end up in a funk too and not even know why. With that said, I make it a big thing to protect my energy. As a result, there people who don’t have access to me via telephone, text, or social media. #notsorry
15. Protect your peace.
With that said, I know it’s not possible to avoid every damn body. Sometimes you have to deal with difficult folks at work and for some of you, it’s not possible to cut yourself off from negative folks. In that case, you have to take other measures to protect your peace. I will wear my black tourmaline necklace if I have to be around people who are always negative. I also make an effort to be present in my moment. In other words, I will tune folks out in a heartbeat instead of allowing them to get on my nerves.
16. Delete your Facebook app.
Recently, I noticed that Facebook was draining me of all my energy. I didn’t make any hesitations — I deleted that app right off my phone. While I still need to access Facebook for business reasons, there are plenty of options to help me work around that. I downloaded the Page Manager app on my phone so I can manage LAAB’s FB page on the go and you can still access Facebook via internet for any groups you moderate. You’d be amazed at how much you can get done in a day without this app on your phone too. Try it and see…
Meditation has been really kind to me in 2017. Sometimes all you want your mind to do is shut up and this is one of the most effective ways I’ve been able to get some peace. Simply find a place to sit and relax. Take a few deep breaths and stop paying attention to your thoughts. Instead pay attention to your breathing until you even forget about that. Now, I’m no expert on meditating here, but that should be enough to get you started.
18. Stop grinding so much and take a break.
I love a good hustle, but I love a good rest too. Perhaps you’ve been grinding yourself down this year and you’re on the brink of a complete meltdown. My words of advice would be to think about whatever it is you’re grinding for. Maybe you’re grinding for money so you can become financially free. That’s good and all, but allow me to let you in on a little something — you have to become the thing you’re after. In other words, if you’re out here grindin for financial freedom and you’re feeling all yucky because of it — you’re creating more of that in your future. Give yourself some time to rest and FEEL free now. Again, you have to be free now in all aspects of the word.
19. Do something kind for someone else.
Being kind to someone else is an ultimate act of self-care. You know the feeling — it’s how you feel when you leave a waitress an above average tip. It’s how you feel when you smile at a child who is showing their behind in the supermarket versus scowling at them. It’s how you feel when you give mother a helping hand by offering to push her groceries to her car while she handles said child. Everyday do something to show a little compassion for someone else whether it’s big or small. Those good feelings help you attract more of the things you want out of life. It’s so worth it.
20. Be mindful of how you feel physically.
Earlier in 2017 I made the decision to become a vegan eater, plant-based eater, whateva you wanna call it. Basically, your girl doesn’t eat meat or dairy products anymore. And no, it wasn’t a decision I made because of What The Health. I made this decision because I’m acutely in tune with how I’m feeling physically and I noticed that I felt like crap when I ate meat and dairy. I don’t want to feel bad physically because it affects in every other area of life. The benefits of becoming a whole-foods plant eater has been astronomical and I don’t ever imagine turning back. With that said, be mindful of how you feel physically when you eat certain things. If it isn’t keeping you in that good feeling mode, consider eliminating it from your diet. Plus, this can apply to more than just food too. Eliminate anything that harms you physically.
Other Ways to Be Better to Yourself in 2018
Now, I know y’all don’t wanna read my commentary on all the ways you can be better to yourself in 2018, so I’ve included the rest in a list format. You’re welcome.
21. Start a blog.
22. Dance more.
23. Ground yourself.
24. Laugh more.
25. Get more sleep.
26. Take a weekend getaway.
27. Cuddle with your kids.
30. Write down your thoughts.
32. Write down 5 things you’re grateful for everyday.
33. Put away your cell phone and be present.
34. Stop comparing yourself to other people.
35. Take walks by yourself.
36. Buy yourself flowers.
37. Walk like you’re a boss because you are. (Especially if you’re a mom. You boss little people 😀).
38. Indulge more in things that you love.
40. Invite your friends over for an #adulting free evening.
42. Go on a lunch date with a friend.
43. Make your goals into art so you can keep them visible at all times.
44. Write your ideas down. You never know when they will be useful!
45. Change your email address and only share it with people you want to talk to. (Goodbye sale alerts!)
46. Don’t argue.
47. Call a friend and talk about your feelings when you’re down.
49. Smile at yourself when you look in the mirror.
50. Be you.
Wrapping Thangs Up
As you can see, I saved the best for last. The best way you can be good to yourself is to simply be you. You’re an original, honey. And don’t you know that originals are invaluable. Stop trying to be some other woman and walk gloriously in your purpose. No one can be you better than you. I hope this list inspires you to be your best in 2018.
Did I miss anything? Any other ways to be better to yourself in 2018?