When was the last time you went on a money date with your spouse?
Newly married couples and older couples alike always hear endless advice from well meaning people about how you should always date each other. However, no one really likes to talk about establishing true financial intimacy.
I mean folks out here feeling more comfortable looking at their spouses naked than they are comfortable with getting financially naked. If that ain’t some mess, I don’t know what is…
It’s imperative we change all of this because disagreement about money is one of the leading causes of stress in relationships. And honestly, it really doesn’t have to be this way because I’ve been married for almost nine years and me and bae have never argued about money.
The truth is, all you need is a practical approach to this money situation and tell me…what could be more practical than scheduling a money date with your spouse? Sometimes you have to create opportunity instead of waiting for it to climb in your lap. That includes time to talk about money too.
It doesn’t matter how you do it either. Make it as formal or informal as you like, but know that going on money dates with your spouse is a key ingredient to creating better finances with your spouse.
Today we’re going to go over some ways you can make this date something you both will look forward to and I’ll also go over some important things you should do during each money date.
But first, let’s clarify what a money date is exactly…
What Is a Money Date?
A money date is basically a date where you and bae sit down and talk about your finances. This is your opportunity stay current on your financial goals, go over your budget, and update each other on any pressing concerns.
Since money can be a rather tense subject, making a formality out of it (and making it fun too) eases some of the tension you might experience when you bring up words like budgets to your spouse. You both know that it’s coming and you both can mentally prepare yourself for it.
It’s much better to plan these discussions rather than talking about money when you’re in your feelings about how much your spouse may or may not have spent that day. Instead, you give yourself enough time to check (and leave) your feelings at the door so you can respectfully communicate with each other.
How to Make Your Money Date Fun
1. Set a date
Pull out your calendar each month and pick a good day to have your money date. You can make it a standing appointment or you can set your dates as you go. Just write it down and make sure you stick to it.
2. Ditch the kids
I love my little crumb snatchers, but it’s impossible to talk about money when they are around. Either wait until they are in bed (if you’re having your date at home) or hire a babysitter. This will make it easier to discuss your finances and give you the opportunity to spend quality time with each other.
3. Do something you like
Your money date doesn’t have to be all about finances. If you’re at home, you can make a night out of it by ordering pizza in and grabbing a glass of wine. Or maybe you’re into recreating gourmet chef meals, I dunno. Pick something you like to do and incorporate it into your money date.
4. Get out of the house
Whenever you can, get out of the house and have your money date at the park, restaurant, or cafe. A change of scenery is always nice and if you’re on a budget, it’s like getting two for one. You get a money date and an actual date night out with your spouse. I call that winning.
Important Things To Do On Your Money Date
Now that we’ve discussed how to make your money date fun, here are some important things you must do on your money date:
- Log-in to your bank accounts, credit card accounts, retirement accounts, etc and take note of your starting balances.
- Write bill due dates on the calendar for the year and pay any bills currently due.
- Set up an automatic savings plan if you haven’t already. If you have, check your savings account balances and give yourself a pat on the back.
- Track your income and expenses using money management worksheets or money management apps.
- Review your credit card statements and bank statements for unnecessary expenses you spent money on the previous month. Ask yourself if the purchases are adding value to your life and evaluate whether you need them. Also, check for errors and fees too!
- Organize any receipts you’ll need to keep for tax purposes.
- Review your money goals for the month.
Wrapping Thangs Up
Having a money date may not seem like it should be a top priority on your things to do list, but let me assure you, it’s essential. You can start making progress on with your finances today just by simply putting a date on the calendar. Money dates are one of the easiest ways to communicate with your partner about your partner about your finances.
If you’re still struggling to get on the same page financially, print this page for 20 questions you should discuss together.