I’ve felt compelled to write something like this for a while now.
I had no idea what I would share because I’m learning something new about myself — I’m private. Believe it or not, I never really knew or understood that about myself.
I always thought I was an open book, that I wasn’t afraid of telling it like it is…well, I’ve determined that to be a lie. I can say I don’t mind sharing some things. I’ve just been struggling with how much or exactly what I should share about myself in a public forum.
Living in this new social media age, it can feel like you’re supposed to be oversharing everything about yourself. Especially, if you want to build a successful online business. But let’s be real. Half of what you see on social media really isn’t even real.
I’ve learned that the hard way and I’ll explain a little more about that in a minute. But what I want to make clear is that there are plenty of successful people who are not living their lives out loud. The world doesn’t know much about their personal business and I quite admire (hell, even envy a little) those who have been able to pull that off.
However, for me, I feel there are certain things that I do need to share (not because I want “success” but because this is personal finance) and I think it will help me move forward with Life and a Budget in a more authentic way. I’m far from perfect and even though I’m a financial educator, I don’t want anyone to think I’ve got all of my financial ish together because I don’t.
What I do know is that I was able to overcome bankruptcy at a young age. I was able to rebuild my credit, buy a home, build over $40k in retirement savings, and maintain a nice standard of living for myself and my little family.
Everything was going as planned and then life threw a whole entire basket of lemons at me last February (more on that here) and I’ve been trying to figure out what to do with myself ever since. So yes, I’m a financial educator but I’ve felt discouraged because losing my income felt like it was the beginning of the end to my calling of teaching others how to create better finances for themselves.
However, the truth is that I can only teach from what I know and I do know a lot about personal finances despite the fact I’m working to get mine back on track after being out of work for over a year. I’ve always wanted to be an entrepreneur and this last year has had many moments of triumph and many moments of me wanting to curl up in a corner and disappear.
So no, I can’t tout the credentials and successes of some other folks in the online personal finance space, but I can share where I’m at now and the process I’m personally working to get my finances where I want them to be. It also doesn’t mean that I’ll never be able to tout those credential and successes. It just means that my financial journey is far from complete and that brings me comfort because at least I know I have plenty to write about here at Life and a Budget.
A New Business
With all of that said, my husband and I made a decision to start selling on eBay alongside Life and a Budget.
Why?
Well, personally, I felt like I needed to get my hands on something that would bring in additional income. I’m always preaching that you should have more than one stream of income and I’ve struggled for the past year with the fact that Life and a Budget was essentially paying for itself. In other words, I haven’t paid myself a dime with the money I’ve made here at LAAB.
I wasn’t earning an income and it wasn’t comfortable. Yes, I was doing something productive every day by staying home with my kids. Especially at a time when my son needed me the most because of some developmental issues he’s facing.
But still, I couldn’t just sit by and not do something. I went to school for six years to get a bachelors in advertising and a master’s in business administration. I never saw myself as someone who just stayed home (not that there’s anything wrong with that). And yes, I could go out and get another job, but my husband and I both agreed that my place is right where I’m at — home with the kids building a business and legacy we all could be proud of.
So, last month was our first month selling on eBay and yes, things are moving slow, but I’m learning a lot and I think it’s something that I should share with you guys if you’d be interested in knowing about it (just let me know in the comments if you’d be interested in eBay income reports).
Social Media Living Ain’t Living
Now, back to this whole thing I was talking about earlier with social media and folks living out loud for the gram. Like I said, I learned the hard way and I’m about to keep it all the way 100 with you on something that is entirely embarrassing and humbling for me.
First, let me start with this…
I’m a personal finance educator and I’ve told you how important it is to steer away from debt. Pay off debt, I said. Stay out of debt, I said. But yet, I haven’t practiced what I’ve preached.
See, I fell for the okie doke and went into debt, ya’ll.
I’ve been following someone who appears to be pretty much put together in the online business coaching world. I’ve respected this person as a coach and business person for years, so I want to make it clear that I didn’t go into this decision lightly.
Before this big okie doke moment, I’d worked with this individual in a small scale capacity, investing anywhere from a few dollars to $200 per month for a recurring membership on how to set up systems and processes for Life and a Budget.
Last year I made the decision to invest at a much higher level after initial success with these much smaller investments I’d been making. After talking with my spouse and thinking it over carefully, I decided if I wanted to grow, I needed to be willing to invest in my business.
Only problem was that Life and a Budget only had about $2,000 in its savings account and the investment to work at a much higher level with this individual was over $7,000. Yes, you read that right.
So, I decided to go into debt to the tune of roughly $6,000 to learn what I needed to know to grow my business and receive coaching from this individual. While, I’ve managed to make monthly payments on this debt each month (despite not having a job), I haven’t earned one cent from this investment since October when the program began (despite being sold on the fact that I would…but that’s not something I want to get into here.)
Now, I’m not out to publicly out this business coach because it’s just not in me to do that, but I will say that I personally fell for an okie doke. I invested into a certain idea of what this program was going to be. The description and the expectations were written plainly (or at least I initially thought so) for me and the others who joined the program but things began to shift once the program began and I felt certain promises weren’t kept.
For instance, I was under the impression that my investment would include virtual assistance and graphic design help for Life and a Budget. However, once the program began, “expectations” were further outlined for graphic design and virtual assistance help moving forward in the program. If those things had been outlined from jump start, I would have never joined the program and many of my fellow peers expressed the same thing.
I was so caught up in the help I thought I would be receiving and the processes I thought I needed to be a successful business owner that I didn’t really see the fact that this program was completely incompatible with the way I really want to do things with Life and a Budget.
Believe it or not, it’s not really about the money. My goal and mission here are to reach as many women as I can and help them change their financial stories and create better legacies for themselves and their families. I was willing to take a risk and bet on myself (and my mission) to achieve that goal.
I could only see one end in mind when I invested in this program and that was to have a system in place that would help me free up the much needed time so I could give back to underserved communities in a better capacity. And when things didn’t go the way I expected, I won’t lie and say that I initially picked myself up and figured out another plan. In fact, I did quite the opposite — I fell into a deep depression.
In addition to depression about this failed attempt at growing my business, I’ve attended two funerals in the last month — watching two of the closest people to me bury two of the closest people to them. It was a lot to deal with all at once I’ve been in a bad head space. Today as I write this I finally feel like the brain fog is lifting and I’m in a position where I can share my mistakes and flaws (even at the risk of being judged…).
So, back to this social media living ain’t living thang…
Social media shouldn’t be your proof for making any financial related decision. I learned this the hard way and I want to steer many people as I can from that path. I made my decision based on how I’ve seen this individual living out their “business” life for the last few years on IG and Facebook and this totally clouded my judgment.
To be clear, this person may very well be living authentically and sharing glimpses of their lives as it pertains to business on social media. However, their authenticity isn’t meant to be mine and that’s something I’ve had to realize.
Even though they were teaching their systems, the way they’ve done things in their business and they are charging a premium price for teaching it, it doesn’t mean it will work for everyone even when they said that their system was “proven”.
That’s the thing that upsets me the most though. I believed this person knew their process wouldn’t work for everyone, yet they “approved” applications for the program and accepted payment despite knowing this and a lot of business owners got burned in the process. Rest assured, I feel confident in making that claim because out of the ten people who started this program six months ago, only three of us are left standing (and I’m barely standing myself).
But this isn’t a post about bashing this program or this person. It’s a post to let you know that I’m susceptible to making bad business choices and financial decisions despite knowing better. I’m taking responsibility for that and moving forward.
Bouncing Back
With that said, it’s time for me to get back into the game. I made a mistake. I fell for the okie doke and now I’m accepting responsibility. I’m going to work hard to prove (once again) it’s possible to bounce back from a financial mistake and bad business decision.
I will not wallow in the fact that I didn’t practice what I preach about debt. I think we all know that we are human and it doesn’t matter who you are, you will make mistakes. It’s important to show yourself grace and move forward So, that’s what I plan to do.
I have about $5,400 in credit card debt and that’s so hard for me to write. After my financial mistakes in my early college years, I never imagined having that much credit card debt again. I’ve worked hard for the last nine years after filing bankruptcy to never be in that financial predicament again, but yet here I am.
I have credit card debt again at a time when I’m simply trying to explore this entrepreneurial path I know I’m supposed to be traveling. At a time when I no longer get a paycheck every two weeks. That fact alone makes this whole experience really uncomfortable, but I know I will get through it.
Just as I fought my way back from bankruptcy at the age of twenty-three, I know what’s possible because I’ve already done what many in my life thought was impossible.
My intention is to never approach financial education from the perspective that I’m above anyone else or that I know it all. What I intend to do is to share my truths, setbacks, and triumphs in a way that inspires you to chase a better life for yourself.
With that said, know that anything I share here on Life and a Budget is about living and learning. I’ve felt uncomfortable these past few months sharing my personal finance knowledge with you all because of this new financial state I’m in.
I KNEW I wasn’t practicing what I preached by keeping this tucked away in secret and not sharing how I plan to overcome it. Just know that the gig is up on that and I’m not going to fake it for this blog, the gram, Facebook, or any other social media platform.
Wrapping Thangs Up
So, my plan moving forward is to share my debt repayment for this bad business investment. I don’t know how I’ll do it, but it’s really time to put LIFE into Life and a Budget, so I will share as much as I feel comfortable sharing here on out. I also would love to share with you my eBay journey if you want to hear it. Again, let me know in the comments below.
Whatever you’re going through financially, know that you are not alone. All of us make mistakes, misjudge a situation, and miscalculate things; however, there’s a lesson in all of it. The biggest lesson to learn is that you’re not meant to stay down. You’re meant to rise above your mistake and achieve something bigger than you’ve ever imagined achieving.
Chime in below – Would you be interested in eBay income reports? Have you ever made a financial decision based on so-called social media “proof”?