Welcome to the first Reader’s Question here at LAAB!
I’m super excited about this series because I’ve been wracking my brain on how I can serve you better, my dear readers. So, I created a survey. This survey contained two questions, one question was about your most pressing financial struggle and the second part allowed you to ask me anything you wanted. I’m happy that some of you delivered!
I’m going to do my best to tackle a question each week or as long as you all keep them coming. If you don’t want to leave your question in any of the public comments, no fret! I have created a Google form where you can submit your questions.
I will never reveal any personally identifying information and if I use an example, best believe it will be a well made-up story that helps address your issue!
This reader, in particular, is experiencing a few different financial challenges and they all stem from one thing — both spouses are spenders!
I know, I know! You typically only hear about a saver being married to a spender; however, I can attest to the fact that this is possible after witnessing loved ones deal with the same exact struggle.
So, how do you fix your finances when both spouses are spenders? Let’s dig into this question and discuss some solutions that will help this couple rein in their spending.
1) Sit down and TALK so you can figure out why both spouses are spenders.
If you don’t have budget meetings or a specific time to sit down and talk about your finances, it’s time to start. You can do what some recommend and make it a date and all, but I like to keep it simple and just sit down for a good old-fashioned talk.
In this situation, you both have to realize each of you plays a part in controlling your spending. You must be on one accord because this is the only way to get ahead!
This is not the time to place blame and bite heads off either because honestly, how are you going to point fingers at him for buying a new pool table when you just dropped $200 at TJ Maxx for a Michael Kors you just had to have because it was a “discount” price? (I’m hypothetically speaking, of course)
2) Listen to each other’s needs.
During that good ole talk, give each other turns to discuss your individual needs. Perhaps bae can’t function without their gym membership. Or boo face may simply be trying to stay looking nice for you.
You never know what the other person’s motives are and more likely than not, there’s a way for everyone involved to come to a compromise. Listen without judgment and make a commitment to work on changing your spending habits.
3) Name one thing for yourself that you would like to keep doing.
So, bae has a thing for high-priced protein shakes to go along with his gym membership. And boo face likes to keep her hair looking cute in addition to buying those nice outfits you’re always complimenting her on.
If you have too many vices that are killing your budget, name the thing that’s most important to you and see if you can work out a way to keep it in your budget.
Maybe that means bae is going to have to scrap that gym membership and start running through the neighborhood to keep their protein shakes. That could also mean boo face is going to have to stay out of the mall if she wants to continue getting her hair done.
4) Discuss your joint short-term and long-term goals.
What are things you want to achieve as a couple? Do both of you want to retire early? Perhaps travel the world? Go back to school? Put the kids through college? Start a business? Pay off your mortgage? Build an emergency fund? Pay off debt?
You get the picture.
This is the time to identify all the things you want to do together and think about how your current spending behaviors are keeping you from those short-term and long-term goals.
If you really value achieving any of your goals, you will need to be able to easily identify them when the struggle gets real. You know, when you’re on your 239th debt payment and you still have 75 more to go.
5) Next, you’ll need to examine your spending.
This is where ish can get real. It will be hard for boo face to come to terms with the fact that she spent $700 at Macy’s last month on stuff she can’t even remember she brought. (BTW, if you still have receipts and the goods are still intact — you know what to do. Take them back.)
And let’s not forget ole bae. Bae is going to be all up in his feelings when he realizes he paid for that $60 gym membership and he didn’t go to the gym, not one of those 30 something days last month. He did drink his protein shakes, though. ?
When examining your spending, determine the total amount of your spending on whatever vice has you in a financial pickle. Once you determine this number, can you agree to a monthly minimum and bring that number into a reasonable range?
For instance, let’s say another vice of bae’s would be going to the cafeteria at work every day for the salad bar. Can bae give up the cafeteria altogether and bring his own salad to work? If not, can he agree to only go once a week and bring his lunch all other days?
The same would apply to boo face. If boo face likes getting her hair done, can she find a cheaper salon? Maybe a beauty school? Heck, can boo face curl her own hair and leave the color and cut to the stylist to save money?
Whatever you decide, remember you can implement it temporarily until you get your finances straightened out.
Regardless of whether your excessive spending involves cable, eating out, gym membership, or beauty regimens — are these things more important than achieving your short-term or long-term goals?
6) Now create your budget.
So you’ve figured out your long-term and short-term goals examined your expenses and agreed to make any necessary compromises to bring your spending back into check.
Now it’s time to create a budget that will address your short and long-term needs, allows for each of you to have a little spending flexibility, and meet all of your obligations.
To make this work, each of you should give yourself spending limits, allowances, or whatever you want to call them. This money should be used for whatever you like and should include your one thing you just gotta have.
So, if bae has agreed to give up the gym for his protein shakes, this means his allowance needs to cover his milkshakes. If he gets a $100 allowance to spend each month and he spends $75 on his salads at work instead of bringing his own — that leaves him with $25 for his protein shakes.
Will this be enough to cover those shakes? Dunno and don’t care. It’s his money and if he spends it all in one place, he’ll be up the creek without a paddle until next month rolls around.
Same applies for boo face. If boo face gets $100 and she decides she still wants to get beauty services at Sally Too High Beauty Salon that’s her choice. If Sally Too High charges $80 for her wash, trim, and curl, this means boo face is going to have to get creative with that $20 for her shopping habit. Boo face will have to hit up that Target clearance early if she wants to stretch that twenty-dollar bill.
7) Do a monthly check in on your progress.
Now, of course, budgets breakdown sometimes. That’s why it’s important to review them every so often to make sure they still meet your needs.
Your budget must be doing the following:
- Helping you build your savings (especially emergency savings if you don’t have it.)
- Pay off your debt.
- Pay the light bill people, the car insurance people, the grocery people and such.
- Allowing you to have a damn life.
Once your budget has stopped allowing you to do one of the above, it’s time to fix it. All of these things must be addressed! If it seems like no matter what you do, the budget still doesn’t work — this means you need to bring in additional income. That additional income can be through overtime, a part-time job, or a side-hustle.
Further Reading: How to Earn More Money
Don’t allow these temporary set of circumstances continue to derail your financial progress. I’m sure once you sit down, have an honest talk, and agree on mutual goals, you will be able to bring your spending in check. You may slip up a few times before you get it right, but as long as you acknowledge the issue, agree on a plan, and actually work the plan — you’ll eventually get where you want to be.